ANGEL: Hello JJ! I'm an Angel form On High, sent here to ask you to perform a little task. Take this Celestial Firecracker,
from our Celestial Warehouse, over there to Towne Square and light the fuse!
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JJ: "I'm afraid that Celestial Firecrackers are illegal in Aqua Rivers, Kansas."
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ANGEL: Just take the Celestial Firecracker over there to Towne Square and light the fuse like I told you, JJ.
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JJ: "Okay!" And so I took the Celestial Firecracker over to the middle of Towne Square, lit the fuse and ran!
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!!!!BOOM!!!!!
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JJ: And after the smoke was finally cleared from the "Boom!", so was most of Downtown Aqua Rivers, Kansas. There was nothing
left of Towne Square, except a big fifty foot crator!
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ANGEL: Splendid, JJ! Slendid! Now, do you see all those fancy feather pillows on the table, over yonder in the park?
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JJ: "I sure do! Our Mayor's Wife handcrafted those herself. We're auctioning them of today, to raise money to build a new
orphanage, which is going go right where that big hole is."
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ANGEL: Well, this is what I want you to do. I want you to take each and everyone of those pillows, and chuck 'em all into
the hole.
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J: "You want me, to take the Mayor's Wife's pillows, and to throw them down into that hole? WHAT ABOUT OUR AUCTION?"
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ANGEL: Well, this is how it works. I deliver the messages from On High, you do the pillow-chuckin' Sonny!
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JJ: "I hope you know what you're doing, Angel." And, after I had thrown the last pillow into that big hole in the ground,
I turned around, and the whole town was staring at me. And The Mayor came up to me and said..."
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MAYOR: JJ, have you completely lost your mind? You done blew a hole in our Towne Square, then you threw my wife's pillows
down into it! Now we can't have an auction! Why, JJ? Why?
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JJ: "Well, Mr. Mayor; an Angel told me to do it."
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MAYOR: An Angel told you to do it, oh brother! *******************************************************
MAYOR'S WIFE: Look!
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JJ: ....yelled the Mayor's Wife, as she pointed towards the Southern Horizon. And we all looked and saw the biggest tornado
ever to hit the Aqua Rivers Area. It was heading right for us, and would surely scoop up the entire town, and everyone in
it!
_______________________________________________________
"That's right Mr. Mayor, an Angel told me to do it! Everyone, don't panic! On the count of three, we're all going to jump
in to that big hole! We'll be safe down there until the storm passes! One! Two! Three!"
_______________________________________________________
And everybody took a flying leap into that crator. It was a fifty foot drop, but, the pillows had broken our fall. Aqua
Rivers, Kansas; was no more. But, over three hundred lives were saved that day. So, instead of facing an angry linch mob,
I'd become a National Hero! I even received a Medal of Valor from Rutherford B. Hayes, who was our President that year. And
after that day, no one ever again had trouble remembering what my full name was. In fact, whenever I'd walk down the street,
someone would shout it out loud and clear!
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CITIZEN: Hey, there goes JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER-SCHMIDT!
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JJ: And, would you belive, someone later turned those very words into a Boy Scout Campfire Song?
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